The other day I had a follower ask me "What Happened To You...What Broke You?"

I didn't really know how to respond. Why am I the way that I am? Why do I feel the way that I do? What happened to me that was so awful and damaging that I would consider taking my own life...feel unworthy...starve myself...feel lonely when I know there are so many things in my life to be grateful for?

The truth is, there really isn't any one single instance in my past/present life which would be deemed so horrific or traumatic. For the most part my life has been quite privileged..

I grew up in a nice neighborhood

Had a mother, father, and a few sister...who I know <3 me

Went to University

Traveled the world

SO what is it exactly that has made me this way?

The ultimate question ... and Maybe there is no real answer. Maybe there doesn't need to be an answer. Maybe it was always destined to be a part of my life.

I mean, I look back on my life and I have a few snip-its of things that happened to me that I probably could have done without. I was bullied loads when I was younger by other students....but also when I would get home the torture would only continue by my sisters...

You don't get to do that...You are wrong...Nobody wants you around...Through words and actions that was pretty much all that would be put through my head. I guess you could simply compare it to classic sibling rivalry, but for someone like me who has always been the shy quiet introvert, I think it all really played with my mind and how I saw myself at the time....and continue to see myself.

Mix that with a messy divorce between my parents, stumbling to 'fit-in' anywhere, and never learning how to properly deal and process in that way that I know now...in the way that I need...Goodness...

Depression, Anxiety, and other Mental Health 'Issues' have the worst stigma attached to them. If you were to picture someone who is depressed, maybe you would say they had a terrible childhood, were greatly traumatized in some way, were always outwardly sad/dangerous/lonely/suicidal...and YES...in for some this is the case....

But for many you may not even be able to look at them and their life and say You are Depressed...

I would argue that most people suffering are the ones you might least expect. Someone like me.

A friend of mine always tells me how sweet and friendly I am...how happy I seem with my life...how much people enjoy being around me. It has taken a lot of work and time, but I am at a point in my life where I can really appreciate and believe these compliments for the most part...but no matter how much work I do or things I accomplish...the underlying feeling are still there.

Depression is as unique as a fingerprint or a birth mark. Through creation or sense of being, Depression will follow as a second shadow.

I know that my life is filled with so much Beauty and Style that I would not trade for anything. I know that I could have experienced significantly more horrific things in my life.I know that I am privileged. But what I know more is that how I feel is very real.

All you can do is accept it and find the strength to Keep Moving Forward.

- Anonymous